Define "chronic" masturbator.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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