I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drake has all the answers
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