so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
