We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
