was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
