Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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