i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
