Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You took a bar mat shot.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize