its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
