if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize