Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You ruined the universe
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize