I smell stomach acid.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
