if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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