The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
someone threw a dead crab at me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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