Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
