I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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