Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there was a trapeze. enough said
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
