i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
