Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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