ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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