My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
