alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
