What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
