She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
