I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
