it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
