Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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