if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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