He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
