I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
