You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize
