A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
