I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
