no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
