return my video game
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
