Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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