About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
