if only i could text you this smell
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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