is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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