What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
