I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
