i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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