Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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