office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
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