omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
