Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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