we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I AM VODKA MAN
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
