so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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