As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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