I faked an abortion last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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