I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize