I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Randomize
