She's JV to your varsity
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my nose is crying tears of wow.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize