so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
