No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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