some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
