Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize