Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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