We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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