OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize