Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
