we're blogging at a bar
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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