I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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