lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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