Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
