some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
