you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
