Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
