i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
worst night to have a conscience
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
